You know those late-night scrolling sessions when you’re half-asleep but suddenly deep in thought? That’s when I came across this quote: “Life isn’t about finding yourself. It’s about creating yourself.” It stuck with me. And it got me thinking—what are the simple rules we can follow to make life easier, happier, and a little less messy?
And that’s when I came across these golden rules: Live without pretending. Love without depending. Speak without offending.
1. Live Without Pretending
We’ve all been there—posting a picture-perfect brunch on Instagram when, in reality, the toast was burnt, and the coffee tasted like sadness. Why do we do this? To fit in, to impress, to be liked. But here’s the deal: pretending is exhausting.
I’ve never pretended on social media—after all, my blog is called Messymom for a reason. Embracing my messy, unfiltered self has shown me something amazing—people actually connect with the real me.
How to start living without pretending?
- Stop the highlight reel: Social media isn’t real life. Share your quirks, your struggles, and your genuine wins.
- Set boundaries: It’s okay to say No. Pretending to be a Yes-Person only drains you.
- Celebrate imperfection: Life is too short to hide your flaws. Embrace them.
2. Love Without Depending
Can you pass me my happiness? I left it with you.” If this sounds like YOUR relationship, we need to talk. Loving without depending doesn’t mean being emotionally unavailable; it means being whole on your own.
If you’re constantly relying on someone else to fill your happiness cup, it’s bound to run dry. Loving without depending means filling your cup first—finding your joy and peace—and then sharing the overflow with others.
3. Speak Without Offending
We’ve all heard that words are like arrows—once they’re out, you can’t take them back. But speaking without hurting others doesn’t mean sugar-coating everything. A kind tone and thoughtful words can help get your point across without hurting anyone’s feelings.
It’s important to remember that being honest doesn’t give us a free pass to be rude or blunt. We can be truthful while still being respectful. A little empathy goes a long way. So, before speaking, take a moment to think: Will my words help or hurt? It’s all about being mindful and choosing your words wisely.
How to master the art of speaking without offending:
- Pause before you speak: Think—Is it true? Is it kind? Is it necessary?
- Choose your tone wisely: A little humour can soften even the harshest truths.
- Learn to listen: Sometimes, the best response is simply nodding and letting the other person vent.
Putting It All Together
Living without pretending, loving without depending, and speaking without offending isn’t about being perfect. It’s about being intentional. Life is messy, relationships are complex, and communication is tricky, but these rules can be your guiding light.
Think of them as your GPS—steering you through drama, dodging heartbreaks, and helping you survive those awkward family dinner chats.
“Less stuff, more happiness!” If you want to simplify your life and add more joy, check out my post on “How to Lead a Simple Lifestyle That Makes You Happy.” You will find easy tips to declutter your mind and space—leaving room for the good stuff that truly matters.
Final Thought
These laws of life are less about following rigid rules and more about embracing simplicity. Life doesn’t need to be a performance. Love doesn’t need to be a crutch. And words don’t need to be weapons.
So here’s my challenge to you:
- Try living without filters—both on Instagram and in life.
- Love yourself first so you can love others better.
- Speak your truth, but sprinkle some kindness on top.
And if you mess up along the way (because you will), remember this—life’s a journey, not a destination. So laugh at your mistakes, learn from them, and keep moving forward.
Because, honestly, isn’t that what life is all about?
This blog post is part of ‘Blogaberry Dazzle’ hosted by Cindy D’Silva and Noor Anand Chawla.
The simplicity yet profoundness of these life lessons is something we often forget in the chaos of daily life. “Live without pretending” is something I’ve been working on lately, especially when it comes to setting boundaries. Your words served as a beautiful reminder to stay authentic and emotionally independent. I loved how you emphasized speaking without offending. Thank you for sharing these timeless wisdom nuggets.
I m imperfect in many ways and I accept that and I believe that no one is perfect in this world. Work with your imperfection to create a new definition of perfection is my motto. True love never calls for dependency, true love is pure and will definitely be yours always. First believe in self love is what I believe. Speak as much as required rest let your silence speak a million words without offending others, is my mantra. A wonderful and meaningful post from you Anjali
I like the modern interpretation of the three monkeys. Live your authentic self, be kind and truthful, and enjoy your life as you feel it. It’s nice to see the thoughts penned down. I think they need to be in clear sight all the time. You could design a poster with these awesome quotes.
Thank you for stopping by and for these suggestions. Will surely gonna design some banners.
This is a great post. I really like to maintain silence in many situations. It is better to keep our own company and avoid drama.
Such simple yet profound life lessons! Living authentically, loving freely, and speaking kindly can truly make life more peaceful and meaningful. A great reminder to be true to ourselves while being mindful of others. Loved this post!
We all know about the points you have raised but time and again such reminders are necessary. Living a fake life doesn’t earn us any brownie points. Love actually turns into dependency and that’s when it becomes difficult to cope. Expectations and dependency gets us nowhere. We seek happiness from the outside when it lies within us. We should just love ourselves first and be happy in our own company. The rest is a bonus. Having lived alone for 20 years, I have finally realised all this. Wish I had known this before.
Great post. And it should be read and adpat by everyone. Reel are just to show off. No one is there to show the reality. People easily get offended nowadays.
Perfect ingredients for a happier peaceful life. Sometimes i don’t understand whether my words would offend or not so its better to be silent. That helps a lot. Loving without depending is a difficult one bit may be it needs practice. Overall these pointers are worth saving so that they can act as reminders.
I absolutely and totally agree with your post. These are the three mantras I live by too. and you have captured them so well!
Simple and profound! And practically, it is possible to live a life on these terms. It just takes a wee bit of thought, and a little bit of effort towards self-awareness, which, I believe, includes self-love, a pertinent point that you make in your blog. This is a keeper.
Speak without offendning is such a crucial rule among all three laws you mentioned.
Pretense is one of the quickest ways to slip into depression. The fakeness is definitely going to get to us. So true that happiness and love is for us and within us, why depend on others for it? And yes, speaking right is extremely important to keep positivity around us.
This resonates so deeply with me! Living authentically, loving freely, and speaking with kindness are such powerful principles. It’s a reminder I needed today to live with more intention and honesty.
Inspiring, Anjali and some hard truths too. These are simple facts, but not easy to come by. Yet, in this age and times we live in, it’s a must. Thanks for sharing the golden rules.
Such a thought-provoking post, Anjali. The simplicity yet depth of these life principles—living authentically, loving freely, and speaking kindly—are truly inspiring. It’s a great reminder to embrace honesty, self-sufficiency, and mindful communication in our daily lives.
Loved the post. These are truth bombs that we need to constantly keep reminding ourselves. Ditto on social media and a perfect persona that is created. At the back of our minds, we know that no one’s life is perfect yet we continue to get affected.
I love how you have beautifully captures the essence of authenticity, self-love, and mindful communication. These traits encourages embracing imperfections, setting boundaries, and speaking with kindness, offering practical wisdom for everyday life.
So true! Tone matters in all conversations. Sometimes that is the cause of all the major misunderstandings. And when we start to pause before talking things would be much better.
These rules definitely must be mandates. Especially the one involving conversing. Thanks for writing this
Pretending is definitely exhausting but sometimes I feel that such moments help us in navigating the difficult days. In motherhood, most days are challenging. If we don’t “pretend” that we are happy, we never will be! It’s like “You become what you think!”
I wish life was as simple as speaking without offending. Getting offended is a favourite pastime for many people.