Have you ever found yourself curious about the buzz surrounding self-love, wondering what self—love is all about and why everyone’s talking about it?
Yesterday, I came across a video in which a woman confidently claimed that self-love is an import from English culture, dismissing it as unnecessary. I nosedived into the comments and found responses from her followers correcting her misunderstanding of the concept.
It got me thinking—why is self-love still a mystery to some?
Fast forward to today, my buddy sent me the same video, making me ponder again, “Are we still not on the same page about self-love? I realized that despite numerous discussions, some are still unaware of the true essence of self-love.
So, here I am, once again, ready to explore and debunk the myths surrounding self-love, especially for those who believe it’s merely a guise for selfishness.
Understanding the Basics: Self-Love vs. Self-Obsession
Let’s clarify a fundamental distinction: self-love is not synonymous with self-obsession. It’s easy to misunderstand this, but the two concepts exist on opposite ends of the emotional spectrum. Self-love involves appreciating and valuing yourself, recognizing your worth, and prioritizing your well-being. On the other hand, self-obsession revolves around an exaggerated focus on oneself, often at the expense of others.
Self-Love Isn’t Selfish
Contrary to popular belief, self-love is not selfish. It’s not about putting oneself above everyone else or disregarding the needs of others. Instead, it’s about maintaining a healthy balance between self-care and consideration for others. Picture it as refuelling your emotional tank to better contribute to the well-being of those around you.
Self-Love Knows No Boundaries
Self-love isn’t confined to a particular geographic location or cultural upbringing. It’s a universally relevant principle that resonates with individuals from all walks of life. Whether you’re in India, New York, or Nairobi, the importance of self-love remains a common thread that binds us as human beings.
Debunking Common Misunderstandings
Myth 1: Self-Love is for the Narcissists
Contrary to what some may think, self-love is not an exclusive club for narcissists. It’s not about incessantly gazing into a mirror, mesmerized by your own reflection. Instead, it’s about recognizing your strengths and imperfections and embracing your uniqueness without an inflated sense of superiority.
Myth 2: Self-Love is a Luxury Reserved for the Privileged
Self-love is not a luxurious indulgence reserved for the privileged few with loads of time and money. It’s something everyone should embrace, no matter what life throws their way. And guess what? It doesn’t have to be anything fancy. It can start with little acts of kindness and being nice to yourself.
Practical Steps: Nurturing Self-Love in Everyday Life
Enough about what self-love isn’t—let’s shift our focus to what it is and how to nurture it in our daily lives.
1. Mindful Reflection: Take a moment each day to reflect on your thoughts and emotions. Acknowledge both the highs and lows without judgment. This simple act of self-awareness lays the foundation for a positive self-relationship.
2. Self-Care Rituals: Incorporate small self-care rituals into your routine, whether enjoying a cup of tea, walking, or indulging in a favourite hobby or meditation. These moments of self-indulgence are essential for replenishing your emotional reserves.
3. Set Boundaries: Learn to say no when needed. Setting healthy boundaries is a form of self-respect, preventing burnout and fostering a sense of control over your own life.
4. Celebrate Achievements: Acknowledge and celebrate your achievements, no matter how small. It could be completing a task at work, reaching a personal goal, or simply getting through a challenging day.
5. Surround Yourself with Positivity: Build a support system of positive influences. Surrounding yourself with people who uplift and encourage you can significantly contribute to a more positive self-perception.
For me, writing with a warm coffee next to me feels like self-care. It’s a peaceful time where I focus on my thoughts and enjoy the cozy feeling of the moment.
Closing Thoughts: A Call to Embrace the Love Within
To sum it up, self-love isn’t something borrowed from elsewhere and is not a cover for selfishness. It’s a universal idea woven into the very essence of our humanity. It’s all about valuing oneself while still considering others.
So, let’s bust those myths, embrace the true spirit of self-love, and inspire others to do the same. Imagine a world where everyone loves and values themselves, shining with positivity and compassion.
This blog post is part of the blog challenge ‘Blogaberry Dazzle’ hosted by Cindy D’Silva and Noor Anand Chawla in collaboration with Mads’ Cookhouse.
After reading your insightful article on self-love, I feel inspired to prioritize my own well-being. It’s a reminder that taking care of ourselves isn’t selfish but necessary for our overall well-being. Thank you for the empowering message to embrace the love within!
I really appreciated how the blog clarified the essence of self-love, distinguishing it from self-obsession, and debunking common myths around it.
It’s also a reminder that self-love isn’t just a luxury but a necessary foundation for well-being.
Thanks for sharing such insightful and practical advice!
Writing itself is me taking care of myself. I just love it and have loved it since I was a child. I love writing my thoughts down! And now I’ve found that solo travel is also good for self-love. You’re right. It has no boundaries!
Yes we have been hearing a lot about self love but I absolutely loved your post and found it very interesting… esp. the differences you’ve highlighted and the myths that u have busted.
Sometime ago I was taking about self love to my friends. I didn’t use the term self love but it was the same. I was shocked to hear a response Anjali. She said that such things matter only to people who are sitting idle. I wish I could share this blog with her.
I’ve been guilty of equating self love with selfishness. This has led to me underselling myself. This is a great eye opener for me.
I just turned 60 and learnt self-love only 2 years ago. I was always taught to be selfless and i thought self love was being selfish but now I understand that only when we love ourselves we can love others.
What a good way of debunking myths around self love. Being your own individual self, taking care and balancing life with all its commitments, that’s a good way to understand self-love. Prioritising yourself is important because if you don’t keep yourself in the picture, how do you accomplish anything.
Self-love to me is simply love we shower on ourselves as opposed to waiting for someone else to do it on us. I love myself and have started to prioritize everything that I love and want to do at all times. It doesn’t make me selfish, on the other hand, I feel If I’m happy, I can make others around me happy as well and vice versa.
Wow, I loved your post. The way you debunk myths about self-love is fascinating. Balancing between self-love and self-obsession is important, and we should definitely practice self-love to value ourselves.
self-love is indeed important, and our society indeed considers it selfish. I agree that we should differentiate between self-obssesion and self love
This was a much-needed clarification. The phrase “self-love” is being thrown around a lot on social media nowadays with many people still not having a clear idea about it. There is a fine line between self-love and narcissism and you have explained it clearly and concisely Anjali.
The first point you make before listing out the myths is the biggest myth that needs to be busted about self-love. (self-love=selfish). Also, ‘It’s something everyone should embrace” needs to be a t-shirt, like right away! Love the tips you’ve handed out. Honestly, I’m guilty of not practicing some of these. Number 3 (setting boundaries) is something I’ve just started and it’s proving so helpful. Thanks for sharing these, Anjali
Learning to love myself has been a journey, and articles like this one have been incredibly helpful along the way. It’s reassuring to see reminders of why self-love is crucial for our mental and emotional well-being.
We have been heard a lot about self love. But your post distinguish between self love and self obsession very well and debunking myths around self love. I agree with your all points.
Loved how you have chosen to write about this. I too write a lot about my time and self-love. I feel for us to function properly, this time is a must
True, self-care is the most spoken about and yet largely misunderstood. We all need to get on board and show some love to self before spreading it out to others.
Self love has become an important concept..or I can say part of our lives …i feel it’s very important to delve in to the things which can make us happy..happier …sometimes doing nothing also makes me happy ..haha … sitting calmer..in any park .. looking at the nature …fills me with immense happiness.
Agreed.. It’s a misunderstood concept and you have explained it to the T. For me self love is spending some time with myself, introspecting my journey and do what I love doing, be it a sleep, pampering myself by going to a spa or spending time with friends, read a book or some time doing nothing at all.
Anjali, today I will tell you a short story. My mom she is one such lady I saw in my life who is completely dedicated towards doing for others even at the cost of her own peace of mind, stress and anxiety. She used to get crazy when she found someone is in need of help and by hook or crook she ensured she become some help for that person overlooking the fact that person is using her goodness to get her work done. My granny used to be the one who enjoyed pleasure in taunting my mother about not having a son, her cooked foods are weird, its easy to get a daughter in law for my papa if she dies, what extra she does just an additional job, no responsibility towords others… Blah Blah Blah and what not. But this woman my mom, still cared for her and took care of her till the last moment of granny’s life. I will not hesitate to say that sometimes Mom overlooked what me and didi want from her. What she earned from this? She forget to love self , think about her and her off-springs her biggest two creations of the world. She lost her temper, got over stressed and we 2 sisters found her to be always bit aggressive towards making us disciplined and studies which sometimes made me revolt. A moment came were I said to MA , ” Ma I love you a lot, you did so many things for me which I cant count till the end of my life, but I missed you a lot in situations were I needed you the most. You failed to understand what I wished and desired from you. Being your daughter I will be equally responsible towards parents from both sides (me and husband) but without costing my wellbeing, happiness, peace , and freedom in life. I want to be a mother responsible just like you but with more compassion and care towards my child. I love myself and that’s why I can love you all as you all are connected to me. I dont want my child to stay deprived from the love, care, affection he deserves from me as a child.” Many will find me rude Anjali, but I found with time that I took the right stand. Self love is indeed important and I am vocal about it. I am not obsessed about me, but I love me the most as this love connects me with others with immense positivity. That was my take about self love. What you feel Anjali, was I wrong anywhere, feel free to point out with your genuine feedback. I will love to hear and will rectify if I am wring anywhere.
People who call self-love selfish probably don’t value themselves enough. Respecting our peace of mind and space, appreciating ourselves for what we are and do or prioritising our mental health can never be a selfish thing. In fact, it’s something the unaware ones need to be taught about!
Most beautiful post, writing with coffee it had my heart. Selfcare is conscious effort of showing kindness to self.
Why self-love is a mystery to some beats me. Maybe because we have always been told that prioritizing ourselves is selfish. All well and good, but we need to be a priority to ourselves too. Your post in on point, Anjali.
Self love is much needed for all and not a luxury as many have the notion. Prioritising ourselves might raise eyebrows but that’s not something to give heed to
Self love is critical to not only one’s own happiness but also of their loved ones. Unless one is happy from within they can’t spread love outside. It is a little bit akin to putting your own oxygen mask first before attending to anyone else.
well-said and well-explained! It is not an import, but important… I feel self-love is something that should be taught in schools.
I appreciate the way you distinguished between self love and self obsession. Both have a minute line of demarcation that one should understand and learn how to value self. Unless one loves self, one cannot love others. So begin self love should be priority of every person.
I agree with your assessment of the importance of self-love. One must learn to appreciate oneself in order to be happy with the rest of the world.