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Things you should never be thankful for

About a couple of years ago, I discovered the power (and even the necessity) of being grateful for the beautiful things that happen to us every day but that we usually don’t notice due to pessimism or blindness.
I think cultivating a gratitude habit and feeling grateful every day is one of the best things you can do for yourself. But there are some things for which we should never be thankful.

“It’s for your good”

Many of us have been forced to express gratitude since we were children, even if it doesn’t come naturally.
Furthermore, they “instill” in us the things we should be grateful for (even if those things are unimportant to us) and make us feel guilty if this does not occur. For many of us, the phrase “you will be ungrateful!” causes our hair to stand on end.

Things you should never be thankful for

Since we have so many responsibilities, shoulds, and other feelings of guilt, it’s understandable that we don’t feel grateful as much as we should as an adult.

“It’s for your good” is the phrase that has caused the most havoc throughout history.

Do we need to appreciate what hurts us?

Our parents have sometimes told us, directly or subtly, things like this:

  • You have to be grateful that we didn’t let you go out with that boy, even though you cried for six months. He wasn’t good enough for you.
  • We didn’t give you the money to pursue that career, even if you had fantasized about it, and you should be grateful for that.
  • You should be thankful that we didn’t allow you to travel alone; you could get yourself into trouble.
Things you should never be thankful for

Then it is not your parents but your friends or partners who tell you terrible things like this:

  • Be grateful that I’m jealous because that means I love you and care about you.
  • Thank me for being with you because, without me, you would be nothing.
  • You should be grateful that I pay you for all your whims. Even though I mistreat and despise you, look how much I sacrifice for you, and so on.

Now you might be thinking, what’s the point??
Don’t you think we’ve tarnished an incredibly lovely and sincere emotion like gratitude?

I will make one thing very clear:
If someone punishes you, humiliates you, speaks badly to you, despises you or forbids you on a whim to do something you want with all your heart, it is NEVER for your good. The fact that they make you thank them on top of that is insane.

If you want to get back the sweetness and softness of gratitude, start by cutting off these ridiculous obligations, beliefs, and impositions. Imagine how better your life would be if you genuinely felt thankful for what you value.

You would love to read: Ways you almost mess up as a parent.

Yes, express gratitude, but only for what you truly feel.

Don’t thank someone just because you have to, or someone else has told you to, or because you feel obligated to do so. Ultimately, you are the only one who knows what is best for you.

Never thank someone who hurts you.

Never thank someone who has harmed you. Because someone who truly cares about you will never make you cry, and if they do, they will express their regrets to you after the reality.

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About Author

I am an energetic mom of two kids, still learning the ropes of it. I am so excited to start writing about tips, tricks, and advice on things of everyday life.

(9) Comments

  1. This is definitely an interesting take on being grateful You are right we are often conditioned to be grateful, irrespective of whether it is for something that is for our good or not. One needs to be able to distinguish between these aspects before being thankful. Sandy N Vyjay

  2. I second that. If someone loves us that doesn’t mean they can hurt us. Love and hurt can never go together. Love should heal if we are hurt. We have to realize that never met it happen to us or to anyone.

  3. This was a a unique take on gratitude gesture. I agree expressing gratitude is a great but we should do this only for those who truly deserve this. your post has a valid and realistic point.

  4. Bedabrata Chakraborty says:

    This post is deep. Gratitude is a great virtue indeed but Balance perhaps more important. That is what we need to learn first and foremost.

  5. Milan Singhal says:

    This is quite a different take on the topic. we have been conditioned to be grateful for things since childhood, but have correctly pointed out that we should be grateful to only those who deserve it.

  6. This is a very progressive article. Somehow I feel, we most Indians are yet not in this mindset. Correct me if I am wrong. I mean I am a highly educated woman but still stuck in the old school thinking of my family and society.

  7. You’re so right. As someone whose heart has broken a few times, I’ve learnt that good and bad exists in equal volumes everywhere. I’ll learnt to forgive but never forget.

  8. I really liked what you have written and resonate with your words. Being thankful for things we really dont want to is not right and also making kids realise our sacrifice and asking them to be thankful for it is absolutely wrong. We guide them as parents not for them to be thankful for it. Superb topic to write on..

  9. A wonderful way of looking at things differently, we should be thankful for the beauty of this life and the relative happiness we get from our actions/reactions. Last line I absolutely agree with.

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