Letter To My Son Before He Turns 13

I am writting this letter to my tween son on his birthday before he turns 13 to ensure that my son enters adolescence with a few important values instilled in him.

Letter to my tween son before he turns teenager

I don’t know how it happened so quickly, but there we are on the verge of having a teenager in our home. I assumed there would be more time but no, only one year is left for my tween son to turn intoteenager.

Dear Son,

I can’t believe you are less than a year away from being a teenager. It seems like yesterday I was holding you in my arms. People use to tell me not to blink before I knew it, you would be all grown up.

I don’t know how I will handle a teenager, the thought of actually having a parent of a teenager petrifies me.

But before you go thinking, you are all done and free to do anything as a teenager, I have some advice for you. I hope these few bits of advice which I am sharing with you through letter on your 12th birthday helps you along the way.

1. Respect girls

Always speak and treat girls respectfully. Take a stand when you are witness to disrespect towards women. Don’t talk about any poop jokes Infront of girls, you can crack these types of jokes with your boys.

2. Happiness is a choice ­­­­­-

Happiness is finding joy in everyday experiences. There’s going to be stress in life, but it’s your choice whether you let it affect you or not. Choose to see things with a “glass half full” perspective, being happy takes effort. According to our experience of life is determined by us, not by what’s happening around us.

“Joy and misery are coming from within you.”

— Sadhguru

3. Do something outside your comfort zone

Closing the gap between where you are now and where you would like to be in life will enable you to step outside your comfort zone. There is no better way to develop self-confidence than to do something that challenges you when it shows you that you are capable of more than you thought you were.

You wouldlove to read: https://messymom.co/2020/12/ways-you-almost-mess-up-as-a-parent/

4. Stand up for yourself and what you believe is right-

At this stage of life, you start building an identity for yourself. One should have an identity to stand for oneself, or else you will end up serving others only. To believe in yourself, live with self-esteem, and stand up for yourself, it is better to know yourself first. Take some time every day to ponder on ‘who you actually are?’ know about your background, your ancestors, know your culture, traditions, and history. Knowledge of these aspects can only help you to stand up for yourself because you won’t know when you have to stand for yourself unless you really know who actually you are.

5. Thankfulness Helps with happiness

Don’t ever waste your time longing for what others have. You come from straight middle-class parents. There will be many things we don’t want you to have or pamper with. But I want you to learn to be truly thankful for what God has given you.

6. Respect your elders

It’s very important to me that you lead with kindness every day. Though you do a beautiful job of doing this, continue to do this as you grow. Greet your elders and teachers whenever you see them. Hold the door open for elders & women (girls included). Do your best to address a question rather than “Bruh,” “nope” or “I don’t know”. Throw out a “thank you,” & “please” and work on a humble “you’re welcome.”. I hope you will always see kindness as the correct path and understand the importance of respect for others. Remember the vibes you send out surely come back to you.

7. There will come a time when you are pressured to do something dangerous or just a poor moral choice

We all make mistakes, so I’m pleading with you to stop and reconsider before doing something that somehow sounds wrong or unjust. There’s a moment when you’re forced to do things that’s risky or lacking moral value. In times of confusion, ask yourself this question “what would my ______ say?” Fill in the blank with my mom, daddy, aunt, uncle, grandma, etc. if the response isn’t, “I’m so proud” or a variation of that, reconsider your decision.

Letter to my tween son before he turns teenager

Related post: https://messymom.co/2021/11/30-funny-childrens-books/

8. Your sibling may get on your nerves, but someday, she will be your best friend

I know you love your sister and always be the same. She is the only one who will remember what it was like to grow up with crazy parents, so treat her appropriately! She was there by your side, even more than her peers, during the uncomfortable and joyous moments of your life. Stand up for her when we are not around.

letter to my tween son before he turns teenager

9. Stay humble, but confident

Being Humble will open more doors than kicking one down. Always be respectful to everyone. Be a Gentleman!

10. Always trust your guts

If you feel like you shouldn’t be doing it, chances are it isn’t a good idea. Never try to do anything just under pressure. It’s O.K. to say NO. If your friends cannot accept your answer then they are not your friends.

11. Be Truthful

A popular proverb goes like this, “The truth may hurt for a little while, but a lie hurts forever”.

So, even if it looks like you could land yourself in trouble, always speak the truth. Remember that once you lay the foundation over a lie, you end up building the entire Castle of lies. It will shatter down one day and hurt the people who trust you the most.

Ask yourself in testing situations; Are you “Lying to save your face” or “Lying to save a life”? I know you would choose the latter.

12. Beware of social Media

As you already know that social media can expose kids to some potential risks. Beware of social media, don’t share your personal information with strangers on the Internet.

If you remember only one part of this letter, remember this……

13. Your dad and I are always there for you

Never hesitate to speak to us anytime, regardless of what you’re doing or going through, good or bad, you can always come to us for assistance, warmth, advice, compassion, and love.

Please don’t ever stop talking to me, or asking to spend time with me I know the time will come when you will think yourself cooler than me but I will not be able to accept it if you stop wanting to tell me everything that happened at school, or with your friends. I will always & always & always Love you no matter what.

Keep growing, just not too fast & stay cool!

Your’s Loving;


Hopefully, By the time my tween son turns 13, he will have better aim.

If you are traveling with kids first time, do check this out for some tips:

Related post: https://www.messymom.co/post/travel-tips-for-flying-with-kids

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About Author

I am an energetic mom of two kids, still learning the ropes of it. I am so excited to start writing about tips, tricks, and advice on things of everyday life.

(26) Comments

  1. […] Realted Posts: https://messymom.co/letter-to-my-son-before-he-turns-13/ […]

  2. Wow, this is such a beautiful post and reminds me of the blog letter I too had written for my kiddo 2 years back – https://praguntatwa.com/letter-to-my-child-from-the-child-in-me/.

    Kids grow so fast, just keep cherishing each and every moment with them. Happy Teens to your kiddo and wishes to you too. It’s a beautiful letter apt for every teenager.

  3. Rupsbooklove says:

    Such an amazing letter. It is true that the behaviour of next generation depends on the upbringing of parents and your letter here shows how we can change the world. I liked all your points in the letter.

  4. My son is no where close to teenage but I am sure, I will have the same words for him when he will reach at that age. By that time, there will be many more things that I would like to tell him.

  5. This was so beautiful. my girl will also turn be 13 in next few months, so I could co relate with this so well. you have given important life lessons so beautifully in this post, I am sure you boy will loved it a lot.

  6. This is such a beautiful post. Loved reading it so much. You must be an amazing and cool mom. ❤️

  7. Rakesh says:

    Good article.

  8. Priyal says:

    This reminds me of my memories. I too had shared the same thoughts with my daughter. And soon will going to share with my son which will be very important for him. You have written this post in a very detailed way

  9. Those are some precious and valuable life values for every child. Thankfulness, kindness is something kids imbibe as they watch!

  10. This post is really beautiful. I loved the way you expressed everything. Teaching begins at home and you’re doing a great job in imparting great values.

  11. Such a sweet message for your young man. I’m sure you’re raising a great man just by reading the values you’re trying to instil in him. Happiest birthday to him. I hope you guys have a great celebration!

  12. Wow this is something new concept for me..o ma learning from all of you..So meaning full your all points with meaning of real life. At last your support words are so concise and powerful for any child to grow with decency. Loved your writing.

  13. There are certain pointers we wish to say but we wait for the right time, writing them in a letter is a good thought and all the talk in the letter is so essential that makes the life journey smooth.

  14. Aakriti says:

    Amazing👏 this is something I would really want my kids to read to. No matter how big our kids are, no matter what their gender is… Right values need to be given.

  15. I am sure if I had a son, I would have tried to make him understand these same things in life. You are doing such an exceptional job in raising a good man.

  16. These are really some important life lessons we need to teach our son’s before they enter teenage. Being a boy mom, even I want to teach these to him. Lobed your letter to your son.

  17. These are some beautiful and much needed points which we should pass to our kids . Being honest and be truthful is very important.

  18. Richa Nimeshwari says:

    This is such a nice thing I read on internet today. I’m not a mum yet but I will definitely share this with my kids in future.

  19. This is a nice way to inculcate good values in your child. I really like the list that you have written about. Especially the one about respecting women.

  20. Bedabrata Chakraborty says:

    I am forwarding this to all my friends with growing kids. I am sure they will benefit enormously from this post. Some points hold good for adults too.

  21. Absolutely loved this post. Such an emotional letter and it is so beautiful the way you are teaching and bringing up your son. Love all the lessons you have listed and I hope every parent tries to teach their kids.

  22. Wonderful letter dear. I hope ur son follow ur advice & his adolescent goes nice.
    Loved all the advices.

  23. My son turned 13 last year, yet I could totally see myself using valuable lessons from your letter/post. Children these days do not like to be tutored, and since the pandemic has reared its ugly head again, parents everywhere need to go a tad slow and sympathetic with their children.

  24. Such a beautiful and a heartfelt letter for your son. I am sure when he reads this, he would love you even more. The things that you have mentioned for him to know and learn as he grows are just amazing.

  25. This is such a heart-warming and motivating letter for 13-year-olds. I loved the way you expressed every point which they should learn and implement. Really great way to teach and educate our new-gen.

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