Sorry to Break it to you
Whenever there is mothers’ day, you see Facebook, Instagram, or WhatsApp all flooded with posts describing Mom as Supermom, referring to those super organized mothers who never miss a beat!. No wonder, you also post such messages on your mom’s birthday. We see these supermom quotes and captions everywhere on social media.
But what really defines a “Supermom”?
The ability to manage thousand of commitments? Efforts to make children smile when in reality she is dead tired after a day of work? Or the multitasking skills developed between a diaper and the new trend of the moment? Did none of us realize that they are asking for something imaginary like a fairy?
The phrases and captions that go like “You can do it Mom” don’t fit me. Though their intentions are not wrong, but they are partially true and should be handled with care.
Social media, Instagram, project a picture of motherhood that is all roses and flowers for us. For this reason, many mothers might feel immense guilt when they are uncertain and scared in the early months of life with their child.
Today’s woman is expected to perform multiple roles, and excel in all. The pressure to be a supermom is magnified by social media and reality television.
Syndrome of Not Perfect Mom
The syndrome of the “not perfect mother” acquires greater relevance today due to the pressure of these social networks, and the quality of a mother is determined by the sacrifice she made.
Motherhood is fraught with social pressure and unrealistic expectations that make us feel inadequate. Remember that you don’t have to be a perfect mother; you just have to be a happy mother.
You should know that you are the best mother in the world to your children and that no one has the right to label you. The syndrome of the “not perfect mother” acquires greater relevance today due to the pressure of these social networks, and the quality of a mother is determined by the sacrifice she made.
Social pressure on supermom
Women are occupying more places and taking on more duties every day.
As you work, you need to remember what foods are missing at home, when your child’s doctor’s appointment is, and how can you organize yourself so as not to neglect your life as a couple. Because society, and many times we, demand that we do everything and do it perfectly.
Self-demand in motherhood is the highest level of this social pressure imposed on women. The intense love we have for our children and our desire to provide the best for them causes us to continually wonder if we are up to the task. And the answer is nearly always “no,” since we are attempting to meet false expectations.
- We must be competent professionals in our fields.
- Have a good circle of friends.
- Fit into a size, stay young, and spectacular.
- Be independent.
- We must take care of our personal growth
- Taking care of children’s needs.
- Do sport.
- Keep studying to train.
- Being good cooks and having the house always in perfect and pristine condition.
- And, of course, to be perfect mothers capable of raising brilliant children and capable of succeeding in this complex world.
Ideal Mother Image
From every angle, we are inundated with images of the ideal mother. Everyone appears to have an opinion on how we should teach our children, whether it’s the media, friends, or relatives; and their opinions are frequently contradictory. Juggling to comply with all the veiled orders and suggestions that come from the environment, feeling frustrated and a failure for not being able to get to everything.
Self-demand in motherhood
The real issue comes across when societal pressure infiltrates our thoughts and convinces us of the false picture of the off-road mother. That selfless lady cares for her house and her children with commitment, without making mistakes, and with a smile on her face.
That mother serves herself last and gets up first to pick up. That she is always available to everyone except herself. She never has a bad day, never loses her papers, and is the breadwinner of the whole family.
When we accept this version, we stop enjoying the journey and begin to suffer as a result of not achieving the objective. Frustration, remorse, and a sense of personal insignificance develop. We begin to relive our failures over and over again, and we gradually fall into worries.
We feel guilty if we leave our children in the care of other people. we feel like failures if we delegate some responsibility. we see ourselves as selfish beings if we take time for our leisure. Either way, we are not up to the task.
A few decades back, Our grandmothers and many of our mothers were educated with one goal in mind: to be good housewives. That meant being perfect wives, good cooks, and loving and wise mothers, of course. Today, the spectrum of responsibilities is much broader:
All of these are undoubtedly dimensions that many moms often feel in their closest surroundings. If a woman becomes obsessed with achieving all of this magical and impossible confluence, all she will achieve is suffering.
You don’t need to be a supermom
Perfection is relative and unattainable. Each person has their vision of the perfect and we can not, nor do we want to, please everyone. The only opinion that matters is yours, so trust your instincts.
‘You are a mom’
It’s about a shift in perspective through accepting that there are no perfect moms, but also knowing how to handle the things that are keeping us from enjoying each season of motherhood amidst the muck and the mess that comes along with it.
Do not try to have every aspect of your life and that of your children controlled to the millimeter. This is unrealistic and will only cause anxiety to prevent you from enjoying your motherhood.
Stop criticizing yourself for your mistakes and start appreciating your accomplishments. It’s good to make mistakes and learn from them. Motherhood is a process with no instruction manual.
You have the right to delegate, seek assistance, and take care of yourself. Furthermore, you must take care of your well-being rather than abandoning yourself to the mercy of others. A contented mother is a better mother.
You will also love to read: https://messymom.co/2020/10/self-love/
Life is not a matter of black and white. Between being perfect and being a mess, there are many shades of grey. It makes no difference if you lost your temper with your child one day or if you left the kitchen without cleaning it.
There is no right or wrong way to be a mother. Each child and family is unique and has its own set of dynamics. Finally, love your kids as much as you can and when times get tough, trust God. After all, we were never meant to have to be supermoms.
Image sources: canva, iStock, Unsplash.